Not a Hero
by ladybug114
Summary: He didn't know her at all. But when Agent Clint Barton (literally) bumps into the young SHIELD scientist, she could change his perspective- of himself, and what being a hero really means. (On hiatus, maybe permanently. Sorry!)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Look, a new story! This is my first time writing for either of these fandoms, so sorry if they're a little OOC... anyway, please enjoy!**

_Just look down. Keep your eyes on the ground, and maybe they won't know who you are._

Agent Clint Barton snorted at his own thoughts. Yeah, because that had always worked so well.

Clint was used to attention. As the best marksman in SHIELD, and probably in the world, everyone knew the famous Clint Barton, better known as Hawkeye. New recruits had always stared at him in awe, while older agents had regarded him with grudging respect and sometimes admiration.

But then Loki had attacked and rearranged his mind, and the famous Hawkeye had almost single-handedly taken down the SHIELD helicarrier. Now the awe and respect were gone, replaced with fear, anger, and betrayal. The agents that had once respected him, those who could have been his friends, now thought him a dirty traitor.

So as Clint walked through the repaired helicarrier, he kept his head down. He didn't really think it would keep others from recognizing him, but it just might help. Or maybe it would just keep him from noticing where he was going, as he soon found himself bumping into someone. Reacting instinctively, Clint lifted his head and drew a knife, holding it to the throat of whoever had hit him in an instant. Eyes hard, he looked at the culprit for the first time... and immediately lowered the knife.

The eyes he was looking at were innocent and scared... and feminine. "God, I'm sorry," Clint told her quickly. "You caught me by surprise."

She gave him a small smile before replying, "It's no problem. I'm guessing you're a field an agent?"

Clint nodded, noticing the British accent, and responded with his own question, "What about you? Field agent?" She didn't look like one, but Clint had learned quickly that looks could be deceiving.

She laughed in response though. "No, I'm in research. I'm a biologist. Working on a team at the moment though, we're just stopping here to pick up supplies and things."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "So you are in the field? Who's your leader?"

The girl blushed as she responded. "Oh, I'm sorry, that's classified. Not really allowed to talk about it." She shrugged. "Sorry."

Clint chuckled. He doubted that it would be classified to him, but decided not to pry. The girl seemed a bit uncomfortable already. "So, what's your name?" He asked, continuing, "I don't think I've seen you before."

"I'm Jemma. Jemma Simmons. And you are?" the girl- Jemma- asked in reply, holding out her hand.

He smiled and took it, responding, "I'm Clint. Clint Barton."

The girl's eyes widened as she released his hand and let her own fall to her side, and Clint winced. He could hit himself for that. It had been the first time since Loki that he had a normal conversation... well, normal by SHIELD standards. He could have withheld his name; she probably wouldn't have been surprised at that, knowing he was a field agent and all. But then he just had to screw it up by sharing information. Clint could tell that she knew his name; he could see it in her eyes. His first real conversation in months, and now the girl- Simmons- was probably going to make some excuse to get as far away from him as possible.

But when she spoke, eyes still comically wide, there was none of the fear, anger, and accusation he had come to expect in the last few months. Instead, he heard the awe that used to be common in young agents like her.

"Clint Barton?" she asked, starting at him. "THE Clint Barton? As in, best marksman in the world, as in, Hawkeye?"

Clint offered her a smile, a shadow of the cocky grin he used to save for such occasions. "The one and only," he responded, trying for pride but only sounding sarcastic and bitter.

Simmons didn't seem to notice, grinning at him. "I can't believe it. My first day on the helicarrier, and I'm meeting a celebrity!" She laughed, and it almost made Clint smile. "Wait until I tell Fitz, he'll be so jealous!"

Clint raised an eyebrow at her, asking, "Fitz? Who's that?"

Simmons smiled again. "We work together. He's my partner."

He had to smile at that. After all his time working with Natasha, Clint understood the value of partnership. But then the smile faded slightly, and he asked, "But you think he'll be jealous that you met me?" He smirked. "Sorry to break it to you, but I'm not exactly popular around her anymore."

A look of surprise crossed her face, then understanding with a touch of anger. "You mean because of the battle in New York and that whole mess with Loki?" she exclaimed. "You're a hero, just like the other avengers!"

Clint laughed bitterly at that. A hero, right. He was many things- archer, agent, spy, assassin... but hero? Not even close. Sure, he did some good- he killed some aliens during the battle- but his ledger had too much red. "Sorry, but no," Clint responded, his eyes sad. "I'm no hero, Simmons." He sighed. "Look, it was nice talking to you, but I should go." He turned away, planning on letting off some steam in the archery range, but was stopped by a surprisingly strong grip on his arm.

"Wait," Simmons commanded, and Clint reluctantly stopped, turning back. She was starting at him with something he hasn't seen in a while- compassion. Not pity, which is what he got from the other Avengers, but true kindness. The kind he used to see from Phil. Simmons gave him a half smile, saying quietly, "You saved lives, Clint. You might have done some bad things, but they weren't in your control. And even if they were, it's obvious that you regret them." She stared at him for a second, before asking, "Am I right?"

Clint responded firmly and immediately with a "Yes. Every day."

She smiled again, saying, "Well then, that's good enough for me. And it should be good enough for everyone else! You're a hero, Hawkeye, and no one can tell you otherwise."

Clint had to smile at that. She was so positive, she seemed almost naive. But Clint could tell, from years of experience, that this girl had seen things and experienced things that she wanted to forget, but never would. So when he answered, Clint tried to show her some of the compassion she showed to him. "Thanks, Jemma," he said easily, using her first name for the first time. "I really needed to hear that, I think."

She grinned at the use of her name, and responded just as casually, "No problem." She glanced at her watch, eyes widening. "Oh no," she muttered, "I'm late. I bet Fitz is worried, I was supposed to be back in the lab 30 minutes ago..." She smiled up at Clint, apologetic. "It was great talking, but I really have to go. Maybe I'll see you again? My team is leaving in about a week."

Clint grinned in response, some of his normal sarcasm returning. "Oh yes," he said, "your top-secret team that not even I can know about. Well, I'm pretty busy myself, but maybe I'll see you. Have fun on the helicarrier, don't get lost, and tell your friends I say hi. Got it?" He raised an eyebrow in a mock-serious way, and Simmons giggled.

"Yes sir!" She replied, and walked away, still giggling.

Clint smiled as he watched her leave. The young scientist probably had no idea what she had done for him, and Clint was perfectly okay with that. He was meant to be in the background- that was the only way he knew how to survive. But maybe, just maybe, he could learn to be a hero.

Clint smiled again, and turned away from the archery range. He didn't need that. Instead, he went to find Natasha- she needed to hear some of the things he just had.

**A/N: I really hope you enjoyed that! I'm thinking of adding to it- doing another chapter from Simmons' POV. Have her talking to Fitz about Clint, and then maybe Coulson overhears and talks to her, wants to find out how his agent is doing. What do you guys think? Please review to tell me how you liked this and whether or not I should do another chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, I'm in shock about the response this story is getting! Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, you all inspired me to write faster! This next chapter is actually shorter than what I planned- I was going to have the scene after this as part of the same chapter. But I figured I didn't want to keep you guys waiting- so enjoy this chapter!**

Jemma was still smiling as she walked back to the lab where Fitz was working. She didn't know much about Clint Barton, but he had seemed like a nice guy. Sad, and a bit insecure, but she could tell he had a big heart. All he really needed was someone to remind him how great he really was.

And Jemma hoped that she was that person, at least for a little while. The famous SHIELD agent had definitely seemed happier when she left, which was a good sign. Smiling again, Jemma arrived at the lab and pushed open the door- only to be greeted by a very angry Fitz.

"Where have you been?" he practically shouted at her. "You left to get those chemicals..." Here he paused, looking at his watch, before looking back at Jemma and continuing, "45 minutes ago! You told me you would be gone 20 minutes at the most!"

Jemma winced, but let Fitz ramble. After all, he had good reason to. She was late, and she knew it. So Jemma listened patiently, waiting for her chance to apologize.

Fitz looked at Jemma's empty hands, frowning. "Did you even get the chemicals?" he asked, more shocked than angry.

The biologist blushed at that. "I'm sorry, Fitz," she said sincerely, "I really am." At Fitz's raised eyebrow, Jemma continued. "I got a little lost at first, and then I ran into an agent and we just started talking." She blushed again, sheepish. "I lost track of time at that point."

Fitz was still frowning, and Jemma was starting to worry, when he finally replied, "Who was this agent you met?"

She almost laughed at that, realizing now why her partner and friend was so upset. He was jealous! Fitz obviously thought that she had chosen to spend time with someone else, rather than with him. So with an easy smile, Jemma answered, "Oh, you've heard of him actually. He's very famous."

Fitz raised an eyebrow at that, and Jemma smiled to herself. "Really?" he asked, unbelieving. "Who is this famous SHIELD agent?"

Grinning, Jemma replied, "Agent Clint Barton. Better known by his code name..." she paused dramatically before continuing, "Hawkeye."

Jemma almost laughed as Fitz's eyes widened in shock. "THE Hawkeye?" he exclaimed.

Laughing for real now, Simmons grinned at her friend and nodded. "I told him you'd be jealous," she said, but the smile slipped slightly as she continued, quietly, "but he didn't believe me."

Now Fitz frowned, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Jemma sighed, and debated internally. Should she tell Fitz- the person she trusted most in the world- what Clint had said? The archer probably wouldn't have wanted her to, but Jemma knew that she couldn't lie to Fitz. So she frowned and answered, "He didn't think anyone would want to meet him." At Fitz's still confused expression, she let out another sigh and explained quietly, "Because of New York, and what Loki did to him."

His mouth opening in a silent, "oh," Fitz nodded in understanding. "The other agents blame Hawkeye," he said.

It wasn't a question, but Simmons nodded in response anyway. "They don't care that it wasn't his fault, they don't care about all the good he did- they just care that he technically fought for the other side," she said sadly. Even explaining it to Fitz, Jemma didn't understand how some people could be so narrow-minded, and she was sure Fitz felt the same way.

Jemma sighed again- she realized she had sighed a lot in the last hour- and said quietly, "Let's move onto a happier topic, okay?"

Fitz nodded immediately- Jemma knew he hated to see her sad- and responded quickly, "Of course." He grinned at her. "I bet the rest of the team would be jealous that you met a real SHIELD agent… Probably even Coulson!"

Laughing a little at that, Jemma smiled back and replied, "Knowing Coulson, he's probably met Hawkeye." She paused before continuing, "He did work at SHIELD before New York, you know. I think he was actually on the helicarrier when the attack happened." She frowned, realizing how little they actually knew about what Coulson did before them.

As if on cue, the two scientists suddenly heard a voice say, "Jemma?"

Turning around, Jemma saw Coulson himself sticking his head out of his office, which was attached to the lab. "Yes sir?" she asked in reply, confused. Coulson had kept himself locked in his office since they arrived on the helicarrier two days earlier, only coming out to grab meals, which he took back with him, never eating in the dining hall.

Smiling easily, he asked, "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

Jemma shared a look with Fitz, who nodded at her imperceptibly, before turning back to Coulson and nodding herself. "Yes sir," she responded, and Coulson smiled again and shut the door.

Fitz turned back to Jemma, eyes wide, and whispered, "What is that all about? He hasn't talked to any of us in a few days, and now he suddenly wants to talk to you in private?"

Jemma shook her head, still staring at the door, and whispered back, "I don't know, but I'm about to find out." She turned to Fitz and smiled. "Now you have a chance to go get those chemicals we need!" Eyes sparkling, she added, "And maybe you'll have an adventure of your own."

Fitz nodded silently, smiling, and walked out of the room, closing the door to the lab as he left.

Jemma let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, turned away from where Fitz had just left, and walked towards Coulson's office, pushing open the door.

**A/N: Next chapter will probably be Coulson's POV. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ugh, I am so sorry for how long this took... I have excuses, but I'm sure you don't want to hear them. Basically? School, theater, and writer's block. I had a LOT of trouble with this chapter, Coulson's POV is hard to write! As it is, I'm not as happy with this chapter... but it's done! And longer than the first two chapters!**

**See the A/N at the end on where I'm planning on going with this story. But now, enjoy!**

It was hard, being back on the helicarrier- especially since no one could know he was there.

Phil Coulson sighed, starting at his computer without seeing it. He hated this, having to "stay dead," as Fury eloquently put it. Phil loved his team, and honestly knew that he was lucky to have those five wonderful people, even as an officially dead man.

But... but he missed his old agents.

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. Hawkeye and the Black Widow.

Phil had to smile just thinking about them, but it faded quickly. They thought he was dead, and so did the rest of the Avengers. They thought he had been killed by Loki on the helicarrier.

Sighing, Coulson rubbed his hand over his face, exhausted. He was ready to leave, to go back to just him and his team.

Suddenly, he heard shouting coming from outside his office and grinned. One of the positives of this spot, other than how easily Phil could avoid people, was eavesdropping on FitzSimmons. The young scientists occupied the lab just outside the door, and he could hear them when they talked loudly- which was often. Coulson wasn't sure if they knew that he was listening, but he was sure that they wouldn't care if they did. The majority of their conversations were just scientific jargon that he didn't understand, anyway.

But right now he could definitely hear them- well, Fitz at least. Phil had heard Simmons leave, heard her promising to be back soon, and had heard Fitz pacing the lab when she didn't arrive on time. But now the young biologist was back, and Fitz was yelling at her. Phil knew that he was worried, not angry, and he knew Simmons knew that too, so he wasn't concerned- but Fitz could sure sound intimidating when he wanted to.

"Where have you been? You left to get those chemicals... 45 minutes ago!"

Phil grimaced slightly- Fitz really was not happy with his partner- and rightly so, he thought.

"Did you even get the chemicals?"

Mouth opening slightly, Coulson started at the door in shock. Now THAT didn't sound like the Jemma he knew. Something big had to have taken her attention.  
>Simmons had a quieter voice, so Phil couldn't hear everything she said, but he caught pieces of it.<p>

"... Sorry, Fitz. I really am. Got... lost... ran into an agent... talking. I lost... time at that point."

Coulson frowned, unaware that Fitz was doing the exact same thing in the other room. Another agent? Didn't matter who it was, the engineer was not going to like that.

Sure enough, his voice sounded disbelieving and almost hurt. "Who was this agent you met?"

Simmons reply was almost haughty, and Phil grinned, knowing she was just messing with her partner. "Heard of him... famous."

Fitz's voice was rising again, and Coulson laughed silently to himself. Seems like Simmons had succeeded in making him jealous, as Phil could hear every word.  
>"Really? Who is this famous SHIELD agent?"<p>

Once again, the older man found himself wishing that Jemma had a louder voice, and he heard very little of her reply.  
>"Agent... code name..."<p>

"THE..." came Fitz's response, and Phil could have shouted in frustration. Who were they talking about? Obviously it was a well-known agent, if Fitz was that impressed by the name. He listened intently, but Coulson was unable to hear the next few lines of conversation- it seemed the two scientists were keeping quiet on purpose. He was about to give up listening when Fitz's voice rose again, and he caught his own name.

"... jealous... even Coulson!"

Sitting up straighter, Phil began listening even more closely. Even Coulson what?

Jemma responded, but her voice was still low, and, as usual, Coulson could only hear murmurs. Shaking his head in exasperation, he finally made a decision- he'd talk to Jemma, admit that he had overheard, and find out who the agent was that she had met. So Phil stood up, walked to the door, and opened it, sticking his head out. "Jemma?"

The young agent turned around, obviously surprised to see him, but responded, "Yes sir?"

Recognizing her confusion, Coulson tried to smile naturally, and asked her, "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

Jemma looked at Fitz, seeming to want his opinion before agreeing, and Phil watched in amusement as the two scientists had a quick, silent, conversation. Finally, turning back, Jemma simply responded, "Yes sir."

Coulson smiled again and shut the door, assuming that the two would want to speak to each other. Sure enough, he heard quiet murmurs coming from the other side of the door. After only a short time, a door opened and closed, and Phil realized that Fitz left the lab. And then the door to his office opened, and Jemma Simmons entered, looking a little nervous and very confused.

"Jemma," Coulson greeted her, "please, have a seat."

She sat in the seat he indicated and looked at him expectantly- waiting for her boss to begin the conversation.

He smiled at the scientist, noticing her nerves and hoping to calm them. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Fitz just now. He was a little bit loud, and these walls aren't exactly thick," Coulson told her, and waited for a reaction. Would she be upset that Coulson had listened, even unintentionally?

Jemma looked nervous for only a moment, and then she blushed lightly and smiled back, answering, "Yes, he wasn't very happy with me, was he? But he had a good reason to be upset- I was late. And we both know how worried he gets," she finished fondly.

Coulson nodded, pleased. She did not seem upset at all, and had just provided the perfect transition to what he really wanted to ask. "I was wondering about that, actually," said Phil. "I not only heard Fitz yelling at you, I heard a bit of your response as well. I couldn't help but overhear that your lateness was caused partially by meeting a SHIELD agent, is that correct?" Coulson watched his agent's face carefully, looking for any signs of unease, but found none.

"Yes, sir," she replied. "A field agent, actually."

Coulson raised an eyebrow at that. "And did this agent tell you that? Or did you ask?"

Jemma laughed in response. "I figured it out pretty easily, actually. I bumped into him, and before he even looked at me, there was a knife at my throat!" She laughed again, continuing, "At that point, I knew he had to be an operative."

Coulson frowned at that piece of information. Simmons seemed to think it was normal behavior, but the more experienced agent knew better. Even the most well-trained agents let themselves relax on SHIELD bases- especially the helicarrier. While they might carry a weapon with them, they would never threaten to use it on someone without identifying them first.

Quickly composing himself so Simmons didn't see his concern, Coulson continued questioning her, still curious. "And then you talked to him? After he almost slit your throat?"

Now Simmons looked concerned. "Yes, sir," she answered, hesitant. "Was that bad? I just wanted to know who he was."

Coulson shook himself slightly, collecting his thoughts. There was probably a perfectly normal reason for this agent's paranoia- maybe he had just gotten back from a mission, and was still on edge. Yes, Phil reassured himself, there was absolutely nothing wrong with over-reactive instincts.

So he smiled again, trying to reassure Simmons as well. "No. There was nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'm sure this agent enjoyed a bit of normal conversation, if he was so on edge!"

Simmons frowned, and muttered, "I wouldn't call it normal conversation..."

Coulson, who had begun to look away, thinking the discussion over, immediately turned his head back to Simmons, the smile gone. "What did you just say?" he asked, suddenly serious. "Not normal conversation? What did you talk about?"

Simmons looked at the floor and shook her head. "N-nothing," she stammered. "It was nothing."

Coulson frowned. Simmons was an awful liar, everyone knew that, and she rarely tried. Now he was really curious. "Who was this agent, anyway?" he asked. "I used to work on the helicarrier, remember. Chances are I know who he is."

Jemma looked up again, biting her lip. Phil could tell that she was hesitant about telling him, but she soon came to a decision. "Clint," she said, quietly. "His name was Clint."

Coulson drew in a sharp breath. Could it be... no. No, he wouldn't be on the helicarrier, and he definitely wouldn't pull a knife on an innocent. "Clint who?" Phil asked, trying to regain his composure.

Jemma seemed to notice his shock, and answered this question even more hesitantly, if that was possible. "Barton. Clint Barton."

If Coulson had been standing, he would have staggered back. As it was, he felt unbalanced, even sitting in his chair. "Clint Barton?" he whispered, unable to speak any louder.

The logical part of his brain told Phil that he shouldn't be surprised that his agent was on regular SHIELD duty, but that part was small, and easily covered by the part of his brain that was going into overdrive. Clint was here. On the helicarrier. Could be down the hall, just out the door, for all he knew. And if Clint was here... then Natasha was here. The two, Phil knew, were hardly ever separate.

Suddenly Phil regained some of his senses, at least enough to notice that Simmons was staring at him in concern. "Sir?" she asked, sounding very worried. "What's wrong?"

Coulson shook himself and thought for a moment. Should he tell Simmons who he was before his "death"? Finally, sighing, Phil made a decision. "Do you know who Clint really is?" he asked her.

Simmons nodded slowly, still not at ease. "Yes, sir," she responded. "He's a SHIELD agent, and a member of the Avengers. He uses a bow and arrow, and people say he never misses. He's known as Hawkeye."

Phil nodded, noticing the awed tone of voice Jemma used. "Did you know that all field agents, after they finish basic training and are cleared for active duty, are assigned a handler?" he asked, trying to find out how much the scientist already knew.

She nodded again, unsurprisingly. "Yes, but what does this have to do with anything?" she asked, more curious than worried now.

Phil sighed before answering. This was it. Most of the team, other than May, knew nothing about his life, and he was about to share the most important part of it. "Before New York," he said, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I was Clint's handler."

At this pronouncement, Jemma stared at him with her mouth wide open. "Are you serious?" she exclaimed, incredulous. "I never knew that! He didn't even mention you."

Phil smiled sadly. "Yes, well," he responded, "Clint thinks I'm dead. All the Avengers do."

Simmons was staring at him as if seeing him for the first time. "So that's why..." she mumbled, trailing off with a sad look on her face.

"That's why what?" Coulson responded, noticing the look.

The young scientist looked up at her boss, and explained, "Clint was sad when I talked to him. He blamed himself for the things he did under Loki's control." Jemma looked almost sympathetic as she continued, "I thought it was a little strange, but now I know- he thinks it's his fault you're dead."

**A/N: Okay, so, as you can see- I'm not quite done with Coulson angst yet. There will be one more chapter with Coulson and Simmons. (not sure what POV it will be yet)**

**And then after that- this was never meant to be a story with Coulson revealing himself, and I'm going to keep it that way, but I will have a few more chapters. After I finish with Coulson, I'm going to bring in Natasha- have Clint talk to her about Jemma- and then it might be fun to have Fitz run into Nat! Last chapter will probably be a short epilogue, going to back to Clint and Jemma. And that's it!**

**I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Sorry again for the wait on this one.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay. first of all, please don't kill me. I know I haven't updated in almost 5 months, and I honestly don't know how that happened... but I'm a junior in high school right now, with a bunch of extra-curricular stuff, so I'm a bit overwhelmed. I am very sorry about the wait though. Second, I swear Coulson hates me. This chapter was supposed to be his POV, continuing the previous chapter, but that was just not working. So I scrapped it, and tried Natasha. She likes me better. So try to enjoy this chapter, I hope it's not too bad!**

Punch to one side.

Twist away.

Hand up to block.

Kick down low.

Punch the other side.

Twist away.

Kick at the head to finish.

Natasha Romanoff stepped away from the punching bag, barely breathing hard but smiling. Sure, she knew some fun tricks now, but sometimes it was nice to go back to the basics.

Leaning into a back bend to stretch out her muscles, Natasha glanced at the clock and cursed quietly. Realizing she had practiced the "basics" for longer than she thought, the assassin flipped up to her feet. Clint was probably already waiting for her in her- now their- room.

Natasha grabbed her exercise bag- holding her equipment, water bottle, and ever present handgun- and stepped into the helicarrier hallway, headed for her room.

People talked, and Natasha knew that. They saw Clint go into her room at night, never his own, and they drew conclusions... but Natasha honestly didn't care. They were Hawkeye and the Black Widow- people would whisper, but they would never say anything to her face.

Ignoring the awed and fearful whispers that followed her everywhere, Natasha walked with her head up high, arriving at her room within only a couple minutes.

Pushing the door open, she saw Clint sitting at his desk, computer open.

"Hey Nat," he said, not looking up from what he was doing. "You're later than normal today."

Natasha grinned, not at all surprised that her partner had noticed. "Yeah, well," she responded, "I lost track of time." Moving toward the bathroom, she called out over her shoulder, "What are you working on? Those looked like official SHIELD documents."

Clint nodded behind her. "That's because they are," he said, only half paying attention to Natasha.

Natasha rolled her eyes, feeling a small smile form on her face, as she closed the bathroom door. She began preparing for her shower, calling out in exasperated response, "I knew that! I want to know WHY you're looking at them!"

She could picture him now, see the smirk on his face at her reaction, and she heard him respond, "Because I'm curious about something!"

Natasha grinned, starting the shower. She would play along. "Curious about what, Clint?"

"Oh, just someone I met today..." he responded, even more mischievous than before. "She was very interesting."

Natasha raised an eyebrow as she stepped into the shower, taking the bait. "She? Who was this fascinating woman you met?"

Clint paused, obviously trying to create a dramatic moment, before answering, "A scientist. A scientist who is on a field team, and who claimed that the identity of her leader was classified."

Now Natasha was actually interested. Scientists rarely had classified information- especially from someone like Hawkeye. "Okay," she said, "so what are you finding?"

She could hear the frown in her partner's voice as he answered, "Not much. Turns out she was right about the classified thing. I looked up her name with my level 8 clearance, and a LOT of it is blacked out. I can access her history, but everything about her current team is classified." There was a pause, and Natasha pictured Clint scrolling through the files, before he continued, much more subdued, "I don't get it, Nat. I thought our clearance was the highest. Why can't I see who's leading this team?"

Natasha sighed, starting to wash her hair. She could understand Clint's frustration, but she didn't know how to respond. "Maybe..." she began, and then paused. "Maybe there's a clue in what she said to you. Can you tell me about your conversation? What was her name?"

For a moment, there was only silence is response, and Natasha was afraid she had hit a nerve. "Clint?" she asked, slightly worried. "You alright?"

There was another brief silence, and then Clint's voice came from the other room. "Hm? Oh... yeah, I'm fine." He seemed a bit thrown off, Natasha noticed, but seemed to pull himself together, as he continued, "Her name is Jemma Simmons. She's British. He partner is Leo Fitz, who's Scottish." There was another pause, then Clint continued slowly, "She knew who I was, and... and she wasn't afraid of me. Or angry at me."

He sounded shocked, and Natasha frowned, shutting off the shower. At least now she knew what this was about- why Clint was so interested in this scientist.

"Clint," she said scornfully, trying to play it off as no big deal, "is that why you're so interested? Because one simple scientist told you the truth?"

As the assassin stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, Clint looked over at her. "Please, Natasha," he said, looking and sounding more vulnerable than she had ever known. "Just listen."

"Okay, Clint," Natasha answered quietly, all traces of haughtiness and scorn gone, as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom. "I'm listening."

Clint sighed, lowering his head slightly, which concerned his partner even more than his facial expression. Natasha knew that Clint never let himself be caught off guard. Never. And putting his head down? That went against every training they had ever received.

Natasha had known that Clint was still upset about the incident with Loki, but she didn't think it was still this important to him. It must have affected him more than she thought, if the opinion on one person made him emotional as he was.

"Clint," said Natasha, quiet but firm, when he said nothing.

The archer finally looked up, and answered just as quietly, "She reminded me of Phil."

Natasha's breath caught in her throat, and suddenly she understood. Of everything that came out of the battle, Phil's death had hit them all the hardest- especially Clint. Phil had been her handler too, but the archer and agent had shared a bond that Natasha knew she would never understand. Phil had rescued Clint from the darkest point in his life, and the two had been close ever since.

While Natasha was musing, Clint continued, "She told me that her partner would have wanted to meet me. I disagreed, and told her why." Clint looked down again, but only for a moment, before looking back up. "She didn't pity me, Tasha," he emphasized, sounding almost desperate. "She... she understood. I don't know how, but she did."

Natasha found herself nodding. That had been one of Phil's gifts- empathy. He could make anyone feel welcomed, understood... and loved. "So that's why she meant so much to you," Natasha guessed, looking at her partner for confirmation.

"Yeah," Clint replied, quietly. "And that's why I want to know who her leader is- I want to know if he or she helped Simmons be that way."

Natasha slowly approached her partner, still only wrapped in a towel. "Clint," she whispered, and then stopped. "I don't think that matters," she finally finished.

Clint looked up at her instantly, gaze hard. "Doesn't matter?" he exclaimed. "Doesn't matter that one girl- one scientist," he continued, spitting out the word like it was an insult, "could convince me of what no one else could? It might have just been for a minute, but I believed her!" Clint froze, and then seemed to deflate before Natasha's eyes. "I believed her, Tasha," he finished quietly.

Natasha swallowed, staring at her partner. She had never seen Clint this emotional. In their line of work, emotions were weaknesses. Emotions could get you killed.

They let that mask fall around each other, sometimes, but they still stayed calm and rational above all else. So to see Clint so emotional was... worrying, to say the least.

And just like that, Natasha knew what to do. Clint was completely opening himself up to her-she couldn't just brush it aside. She had to open herself up too.

Grabbing a chair and pulling it over to Clint so their knees were touching, the assassin looked straight into her partner's eyes-and dropped the mask.

Clint blinked at her, his eyes wide, as Natasha let her own show everything she was feeling. Grief for Phil, concern for Clint, guilt that she could do nothing to help.

"You're not alone, Clint," she said, quietly but forcefully. "You never have been."

And just like that, the moment was over. Natasha pushed her chair back, standing up, eyes once again soft but emotionless.

Clint, too, seemed to gather himself, albeit slower than his partner. But, soon enough, his eyes were steely gray again.

With a nod, Natasha turned around and stepped away, grabbing a simple pair of pants and shirt and getting dressed. When she turned back to her partner, all emotion was gone from his face. The walls had been reconstructed, just like she knew they would be. "Good?" she questioned, confirming.

Clint took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Good."

Natasha smiled slightly, and then spoke like nothing had happened, "There's something I need to do. I'll be back soon, if you want to wait here."

Clint shrugged. "Maybe," he said, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Or maybe I'll get bored."

Natasha smiled too, although hers was more predatory. "Well, then," she responded, "we'll just have to make sure you're sufficiently... entertained when I get back."

Clint burst out laughing, and her smile became more genuine. "I'll see you later, Clint," she said, waking toward the door. She silently touched his shoulder as she walked past, giving him a questioning look, and he just smiled at her, nodding almost imperceptibly.

Dropping her hand, the assassin walked out the door without looking back.

She had a scientist to find.

**A/N: As you can probably tell, I'm setting up for a meeting of Natasha and Fitz. Next chapter, though, will probably go back to Jemma and Coulson... maybe from Jemma's POV. I don't know. Anyway, I really hope you liked that, please review and let me know! And I'll try not to take too long with the next chapter...**


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